I am not someone who makes good friends easily. I know this about myself. I have been like this since I was a child. I had several very painful experiences with other girls when I was young and later as an adult with other women, which makes me very careful with who I became friends with. I never could stomach the girl games, so I am picky with who I give my time to and I want my friendships to be emotionally safe, real, and long term. I am usually pretty serious minded, a little shy and reserved and I prefer deep connections. In my friendships I am loyal, loving, generous, and straightforward. Once I feel comfortable with someone, they get to see my silly, corny side. Between my seriousness, my caution and the fact that I have ‘Resting Witch Face’, it is pretty rare when I become good friends with someone. So it was a bit of a miracle that a few years after living in Las Vegas, I met a couple of ladies that I became friends with. These two ladies quickly became a source of joy for me. They are pretty opposite in their personalities and they each bring out a different side of me. They are cool, smart, supportive, loving, and man, can I be corny with them! We laugh a lot and are so silly sometimes! It is wonderful. They really let me be myself and appreciate me for who I am and that is a wonderful feeling.
This friendship has had me thinking about how we as women treat each other. Women are a little scared of each other and dare I say, look at each other as the competition or the enemy. I am not sure where this came from exactly but I see it everywhere I go, in every situation. My family has a unique structure where my Sisterwives and I are challenged all the time to not compare or compete with each other, but instead to look at each other with charity and love, to support one another. It isn’t always easy, but knowing that the four of us are all striving for the same goal helps. But the culture that we, my Sisterwives and I, are constantly trying to rise above didn’t come from plural marriage, it comes from the culture of women today. This culture sure makes plural marriage a bit harder than it needs to be. I love my Sisterwives so this is frustrating to me.
As I enjoyed my two new friends, I realized they didn’t seem to be the kind of women that are challenged by other women. At least it never seems to come up. And I wonder why can’t we all be more like that - just supportive, kind and accepting of each other? It made experiences with them so easy and enjoyable.
Lately the world seems to be on this feminist rant. Although some of it is a little intense for me, I like that it could better our world once we find our balance again, once our voices are heard. I hope that while we, the women of today, are standing up for ourselves, we learn to support and care for each other too. I hope we can learn to trust one another and to be trustworthy. I hope we stop looking at each other as competition or a threat. Don’t you think it would be so nice to walk into a room and not worry about what other woman in the room are judging you for? Wouldn’t it be nice to look in another woman’s eyes and know she understands you and would support you just because she knows what it is like to be a woman?
“This is my goal for this New Year - to be that woman more and to continue to attract more women into my life who strive to be that kind of woman.”
I think that would make the world a better place.
The Ronchelle Dog Tag and chain is inspired by my good friends R and M. Two women who have been a blessing in my life. Thank you ladies! I love you both!